看Friends学英语-Season Two

多云有时晴

221 The One With the Two Bullies

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is there. Monica is watching stock prices on a business channel.]

JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?

MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.

RACHEL: Ok honey, you really need a job.

ROSS: Mon, speaking of which, dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview.

MONICA: Really.

PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.

ROSS: On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say behuh.

PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.

EVERYONE: Ahh.

PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.

MONICA: His indian name?

PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.

ROSS: Freakish.

MONICA: Wow.

JOEY: Freaky.

MONICA: Weird, weird.

RACHEL: Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger?

PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.

MONICA: Why?

PHOEBE: Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist.

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross enter in sweats carrying rackets.]

CHANDLER: Man, I am so beat.

ROSS: Oh yeah.

CHANDLER: Hey, you just wanna forget about raquetball and hang out here?

ROSS: Yeah alright.

[they sit at the couch]

BIG BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey you're in our seats.

ROSS: Oh, sorry we didn't know.

LITTLE BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey, we were sitting there.

CHANDLER: Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?

LITTLE BULLY: Is that supposed to be funny?

CHANDLER: No actually, I was just going for colorful.

BIG BULLY: What's with this guy?

LITTLE BULLY: What's with you?

ROSS: Uh, nothing, nothing's with him. Enjoy your coffee.

[as they're walking off, little bully grabs Chandlers hat from behind and puts it on himself]

CHANDLER: What just happened?

LITTLE BULLY: I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat.

CHANDLER: That, that is funny. Can I have it back?

LITTLE BULLY: No.

CHANDLER: No?

BIG BULLY: No.

ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.

BIG BULLY: Why should we?

ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...

CHANDLER: Stop talking, stop talking now. Let me just get this straight. You're actually stealing my hat?

BIG BULLY: You got a problem with that?

CHANDLER: No, just wanna make sure we're on the same page.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]

RACHEL: Hey, how'd the interview go?

MONICA: It bit. It was a 50's theme restraunt. I have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean I was a chef at Cafe des Artistes. I mean how could I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne and Curly Fries?

RACHEL: So don't do it.

MONICA: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.

JOEY: Monica, relax, go get a beer.

MONICA: I don't want a beer.

JOEY: Who said it was for you?

ROSS and CHANDLER: [both enter looking down] Hhhiiii.

RACHEL: What's the matter with you?

CHANDLER: The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat.

RACHEL: Noo.

JOEY: You're kiddin'.

ROSS: It was ridiculous. Ya know, these guys, they were bullies, actual bullies, ya know. We're grown ups, this kinda stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore.

RACHEL: Oohhh.

ROSS: Hi.

RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]

CHANDLER: Ohhh [turns as if to hug someone] Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one.

JOEY: Hey, woah, let's go down there and get your hat back.

CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.

MONICA: [seeing TV] Hey, I went up.

RACHEL: What?

MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.

JOEY: Do what?

MONICA: Put all my money in me.

RACHEL: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.

MONICA: What's to know? Buy sell, high low, bears bulls...[on the phone] Yes Manhattan...yeah telephone number of the stock...selling store.

[Scene{s:1:tongue}hoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]

[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]

JOEY: See, didn't I tell ya these pillows would be a good idea?

PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.

RACHEL: We love you, we're here for you.

JOEY: Yeah good luck, good luck.

PHOEBE: Thanks. [gets out of the cab]

JOEY: Hey Rach, you uh, you want some sandwich?

RACHEL: Ohh, what is in that?

JOEY: Olive loaf and ham spread, no mayo.

RACHEL: No no, 'cause mayo, that would make it gross.

PHOEBE: [a little dog starts attacking her leg] Hey, hey, no, oh oh.

RACHEL: Run Phoebe run.

PHOEBE: No no no, doggie please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no.

JOEY: Get him a bone, get a bone. You gotta bone?

RACHEL: Are you kidding me?

PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.

JOEY: Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline.

RACHEL: Ok, here, I know what we can do. [grabs Joey's sadwich and throws it out the window]

JOEY: Hey, hey, hey no.

RACHEL: Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. [dog ignores the sandwich] Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?

JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.

PHOEBE: Are you crazy?

JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.

[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]

CHANDLER: Hey.

ROSS: What?

CHANDLER: Do you have to be a Century 21 real-estate agent to get to wear those really cool jackets?

ROSS: Do you say this stuff to girls?

BIG BULLY: Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?

LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.

ROSS: You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door.

BIG BULLY: Maybe we didn't make it clear enough.

LITTLE BULLY: Yeah.

BIG BULLY: This couch belongs to us.

CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.

BIG BULLY: You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here.

ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.

GUNTHER: Fellas, these guys were here first.

BIG BULLY: Oh, sorry, I didn't realize.

LITTLE BULLY: Sorry.

GUNTHER: There you go.

ROSS: Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.

LITTLE BULLY: He told on us?

BIG BULLY: You told on us?

ROSS: Well pal, you didn't give me much of a choice. [flicks the ends of the big bully's tie]

CHANDLER: Don't play with his things.

ROSS: I know.

BIG BULLY: Alright, let's take this outside.

ROSS: Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that?

BIG BULLY: The guy that's about to kick your ass talks like that.

CHANDLER: You had to ask.

ROSS: Yeah.

[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]

ROSS: Ok, ok look, see, the thing is we're, we're not gonna fight you guys.

LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.

CHANDLER: I think you played the Gunther card too soon.

[Scene: Back in the cab in front of Phoebe's dad's house.]

JOEY: Hey Phoeb's, I think you're good to go.

PHOEBE: Yeah, I don't know.

RACHEL: What's the matter?

PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.

RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.

JOEY: Yeah, whatever you need. Hey, you wanna go home?

PHOEBE: Ok, thanks. Sorry, again

[She starts the cab and pulls forward. We hear a squish and a dog yelp.]

PHOEBE: [innocently] What was that?

JOEY: Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]

MONICA: I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.

RACHEL: Time is money my friend?

JOEY: Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your wall street butt.'

MONICA: Hey, I made $17 before breakfast, what have you done?

JOEY: Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50.

RACHEL: How did you make $17.

MONICA: Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.

JOEY: How come those?

MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.

RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?

MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.

JOEY: That is so not my motto.

PHOEBE: [enters] Hey.

RACHEL: Hey Phoebs. Oh hey, how's the dog?

PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.

JOEY: Good.

RACHEL: Oh, thank God.

PHOEBE: Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping.

RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?

PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'

JOEY: Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it.

PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]

MONICA: DON'T...be too long with the phone.

RACHEL: She'll be a much better friend when the market closes.

JOEY: [dials the phone] It's a woman.

PHOEBE: So talk to her.

JOEY: [in a fake voice] Uhh, hello Miss Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know that he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within, within 24 hours. Uh, goodbye. [hangs up]

RACHEL: Why the voice.

JOEY: [in the voice] Hard to say.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is sitting at the bar, Chandler serves up two mugs of hot water.]

CHANDLER: Your cappucino sir.

ROSS: Thank you.

[they both pour in packets of cappucino mix]

CHANDLER: Ya know I think this is much better than the coffee house.

ROSS: Absolutely.

[they both stir thier coffee and proceed to stare into the mugs]

ROSS: How come it's not mixing with the water?

CHANDLER:Well the package says you have to uh, constantly keep it moving. Stir and drink, stir and drink, never let it settle.

[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]

JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.

CHANDLER: Ok.

ROSS: No.

CHANDLER: No?

ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.

CHANDLER: Alright, hang on a second there Custer.

JOEY: Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?

ROSS: Yeah, sure.

JOEY: By someone besides Monica?

ROSS: No. So what. So what if we get beaten up, maybe that's just something every man has to go through once in his life. Ya know, like a, like a right of passage or somethin'.

CHANDLER: Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Ya know, because I think actually mine's growing back.

[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]

MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.

RACHEL: What?

MONICA: Hi, welcome home. [pulls Rachel inside] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.

RACHEL: For what?

MONICA: I've gotta get back in the game.

RACHEL: Why, when did you get out of the game?

MONICA: I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it.

RACHEL: Oh no.

MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.

RACHEL: Ok. Look uhh, Mon I'm, I'm really sorry.

MONICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks?

RACHEL: I, I don't have it.

MONICA: But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs.

RACHEL: Nobody does honey.

[Scene{s:1:tongue}hoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]

PHOEBE: Hi.

MRS BUFFAY: Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog?

PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.

MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?

PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.

MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.

PHOEBE: Sure, oh, is, is Frank home.

MRS BUFFAY: How do you know Frank?

PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?

MRS BUFFAY: Yeah. Frank.

FRANK: Yeah. What? [a young guy comes around the corner]

PHOEBE: Oh, ok, um, I mean Frank senior.

MRS BUFFAY: He went out for groceries.

PHOEBE: Ok so will he be back soon?

MRS BUFFAY: Well he left four years ago so we're expecting him back any minute now.

PHOEBE: Alright, I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about the dog, everything. I'm sorry.

[she turns to leave, Frank follows]

FRANK: Hey lady. Hey wait up. How do you know my dad?

PHOEBE: Um well I don't really. Just genetically. He's kinda my dad too.

FRANK: Heavy.

PHOEBE: Yeah. So um, did he ever talk about me, Phoebe?

FRANK: No but he didn't really talk about anything.

PHOEBE: Oh.

FRANK: Except stilts.

PHOEBE: Stilts?

FRANK: Yeah, he loved stilts. One time I was upstairs, I was stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and uh, all of a sudden I look over and there's my dad's head bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving 'cause he was always happiest when he was on his stilts.

PHOEBE: Wow.

FRANK: Yeah.

PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.

FRANK: Me neither. So you're like my big sister.

PHOEBE: Yeah.

FRANK: This is huge, you can buy me beer.

PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'

FRANK: I gotta friend named Mark.

PHOEBE: That'll work too.

FRANK: Cool, alright. So maybe, ya know, I could give you a call sometime, we could talk or somethin'.

PHOEBE: Yeah, that'd be ok.

FRANK: Alright.

PHOEBE: Ok, I'm in the book.

FRANK: Ok, yeah.

PHOEBE: Alright. So um, stilts huh?

FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.

PHOEBE: Ok.

[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]

ROSS: Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?

CHANDLER: Would you come on! Come on! [waitress brings their coffee] Thank you.

[They rush to put the cream and sugar in their cups and gulp down a few drinks]

CHANDLER: Ah, there we go.

ROSS: I think we proved our point.

CHANDLER: You burn your mouth?

ROSS: Cannot feel my tounge.

[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]

CHANDLER: Bullies, big bullies.

LITTLE BULLY: Oh, look who's here, it's the weenies.

BIG BULLY: Did we not make ourselves clear the other day.

ROSS: Yes, and that's why we're here.

CHANDLER: Yes, we're standing out ground...apparently.

LITTLE BULLY: Let's do this alright.

ROSS: Woah, ho-ho, whad'ya got there, a weapon?

LITTLE BULLY: It's a nice watch, I don't wanna break it on your ribs.

CHANDLER: Alright, let's do this.

LITTLE BULLY: Alright.

[they all put up their fists and prepare to fight]

CHANDLER: Question. If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon?

ROSS: Whad'ya mean?

CHANDLER: Well, it's sharp, it's metal, I think I can do some, you know, serious damage with it.

BIG BULLY: No, you can't use your watch.

CHANDLER: Ok. [reaches in his pocket]

BIG BULLY: Or your keys.

CHANDLER: Ok.

LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.

[they all jump in the street and prepare to fight]

ROSS: Before I forget, are we hitting faces?

BIG BULLY: Of course we're hitting faces, why wouldn't you hit faces?

ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.

LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.

BIG BULLY: Ok, nothing from the neck up. [everyone gets ready for the fight] Or the waist down. Dana's ovulating.

LITTLE BULLY: Oh really, you guys tryin' again?

BIG BULLY: Yeah.

CHANDLER: Ok, so let me just get this straight. So we're uh, strictly talking about the middle?

BIG BULLY: C'MON!

ROSS: Hey, hey, woah, you want some of this, huh? You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standin here, huh.

CHANDLER: Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! [some guy runs off with the hat]

ROSS: Hey.

BIG BULLY: Hey.

[they all run off after the guy]

[Scene: Central Perk. The four guys are returning after getting the hat back.]

ROSS: God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt.

LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.

ROSS: Yeah he was wasn't he.

CHANDLER: Yeah, I wouldn't know having missed everything.

BIG BULLY: Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope.

ROSS: So, listen guys, are we uh, are we ok here?

LITTLE BULLY: We're ok.

ROSS: Alright.

CHANDLER: Ok so, can I have my hat back?

LITTLE BULLY: No.

CHANDLER: Huh. [reaches over and grabs the hat and bolts for the door but slips and falls behind the couch]

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]

RACHEL: Look at her.

CHANDLER: Hi Monica.

JOEY: He-he-he, how's it goin'?

PHOEBE: Hey nice boobs.

CHANDLER: Guys guys, check this out.

[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]

JOEY: Excellent.
END

多云有时晴

222 The One With the Two Parties

[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]

MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.

ALL: Ohhh.

MONICA: What?

ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?

MONICA: You wanna be in charge of the food committee?

ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?

JOEY: Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?

ROSS: Yeah.

PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.

MONICA: Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.

[Joey is staring at Monica's breasts]

MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.

CHANDLER: Wow, it's, it's like porno for clowns.

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]

ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.

MONICA: Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper.

JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.

PHOEBE: Why not her?

JOEY: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.

CHANDLER: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.

MONICA: Joey that is horriable.

JOEY: Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared.

PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I didn't know.

JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.

[Rachel enters]

ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?

RACHEL: Agh, it was the graduation from hell.

CHANDLER: Ya know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.

RACHEL: Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica.

MONICA: So what happened?

RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.

PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.

MONICA: Well, how bout just her mom?

CHANDLER: Why her mom?

MONICA: Cause I already invited her.

PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?

JOEY: Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]

PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?

MONICA: Ok, we're not having birthday cake, we're having birthday flan.

CHANDLER: Excuse me?

MONICA: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.

JOEY: Oh that's nice. Happy birthday Rachel, here's some goo.

[knock at the door]

MONICA: [answers the door] Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here?

MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?

MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.

MR. GREENE: Ohhh, you're having a parteee.

MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.

MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?

CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?

[knock at the door, Monica answers to see Mrs. Greene]

MRS. GREENE: Hi Monica.

[Monica slams the door back shut]

MONICA: Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.

CHANDLER: So, basically just a Chinese guy.

JOEY: Uh, hey, Dr. Greene, why don't you come with me, we'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.

MR. GREENE: Alright, that sounds like a two person job. [they walk into Rachel's bedroom]

MRS. GREENE: Well, my goodness, what was that?

MONICA: Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet.

MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?

CHANDLER: Yes because uh, you look so young.

PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.

MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?

CHANDLER: NO! No, I'll take that for ya.

MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]

PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]

MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

CHANDLER: Ok, think, what would Jack and Chrissy do?

JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.

MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.

CHANDLER: Uhh, yes, absdolutely, um. Why again?

MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.

JOEY: Right this is staging.

CHANDLER: Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area.

JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]

[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]

CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.

MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.

CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]

RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for the wonderful dinner.

ROSS: Thanks for being born.

RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.

ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.

RACHEL: Now I love you even more.

[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]

ALL: Surprise.

RACHEL: Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.

MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.

RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.

ROSS: Really?

RACHEL: No, I knew.

ROSS: All right.

MONICA: Ok, everybody, there's food and drinks on the table. Go across the hall.

ROSS: What?

RACHEL: What?

MONICA: Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now.

RACHEL: Why.

MONICA: Just go.

[they walk across the hall]

ALL: Surprise.

MR. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetpea.

RACHEL: Daddy.

[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]

RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?

CHANDLER: Well, we could count again.

RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.

ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.

RACHEL: I do.

ROSS: That's who.

CHANDLER: Look, are you gonna be ok?

RACHEL: Well, I have to be, I don't really have a choice, I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.

CHANDLER: Well, actually just one birthday flan.

RACHEL: What?

CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.

[Time lapse. Chandler runs out of the bathroom.]

CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.

JOEY: Quick volleyball question.

CHANDLER: Volleyball.

JOEY: Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?

CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.

GIRL'S VOICE: Dennis.

CHANDLER: Ok, that's me. [runs back]

RACHEL: Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.

ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?

RACHEL: Uhh, let's just stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing you daughter' and you should be ok.

[Back in Monica's party]

MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.

[Back in Chandler and Joey's party]

ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?

MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.

ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.

[Back in Monica's party]

MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?

GUNTHER: I um, was sorta thinking about maybe...

MONICA: No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.

PHOEBE: Listen if you wanna go, just go.

GUNTER: No, she'll yell at me again.

PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.

GUNTHER: What?

PHOEBE: Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.

[Back at Chandler and Joey's party]

MR. GREENE: I think I need a drink.

ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?

MR. GREENE: Scotch.

ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.

MR. GREENE: Neat.

ROSS: Cool.

MR. GREENE: No no no, no no no, neat, as in no rocks.

ROSS: I know.

[Back at Monica's party]

MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?

ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.

MRS. GREENE: Oh, scotch neat. Ya know, that's Rachel's father's drink.

ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?

MR. GREENE: I'm getting my cigarettes out of my jacket.

ROSS: No. no.

MR. GREENE: Whad'ya mean no?

ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.

MR. GREENE: Get my glasses too.

ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]

MONICA: Ok, the first person's most embarassing memory is, 'Monica, your party sucks.' Very funny.

PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?

MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.

PHOEBE: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.

MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?

ROSS: Mine.

MRS. GREENE: You wear bi-focals?

ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.

MRS. GREENE: Did you know my husband has glasses just like that?

RACHEL: Well those are very popular frames.

ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.

GUY: [to Phoebe] I hear you can get people out of here.

MRS. GREENE: Rachel, you didn't tell me your boyfriend smoked.

RACHEL: Yeah, like a chimney.

ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]

MR. GREENE: Are you wearing my glasses?

ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.

MR. GREENE: Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?

ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.

[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]

PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.

GIRL 1: What about my friend Victor?

PHOEBE: No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious.

GIRL 1: Alright, let me just get my coat.

PHOEBE: There isn't time. You must leave everything. They'll take care of you next door.

GIRL 1: Is it true they have beer?

PHOEBE: Everything you've heard is true.

[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]

MONICA: Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament.

[Chandler and Joey stop dancing and laugh at her]

MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?

GUNTHER: Um [gestures to dance floor]

PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.

MONICA: Phoebe.

PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.

MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]

[Back at Monica's party]

RACHEL: You want me to see a therapist?

MRS. GREENE: Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.

RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.

[Chandler and Joey's party]

MR. GREENE: Did you know your mother spent $1200 dollars on bansai trees. I felt like Gulliver around that place.

RACHEL: Daddy, daddy, you know what, I really wanna hear more about this, I really do, but I just have, I just have to do a, some stuff.

[Monica's party]

MRS. GREENE: You work and you work and you work at a marriage but all he cares about is his stupid boat.

[Chandler and Joey's party]

MR. GREENE: You work and you work and you work on a boat...

MRS. GREENE: He always ridiculed my pottery classs...

MR. GREENE: ...and you sand it and you varnish it...

MRS. GREENE: ...but when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.

MR. GREENE: ...and her yoga and her Bridges of Madison County...

MRS. GREENE: ...the scotch and the cigarettes...

MR. GREENE: ...and the bansai's and the chiuaua...

MRS. GREENE: ...I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now dear but...

MR. GREENE: ...what the hell does she want with half a boat...

[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]

CHANDLER: [running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.

RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?

CHANDLER: Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program of denial and, and wetting the bed.

RACHEL: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.

CHANDLER: Becasue it reminded you of the way our forefathers used to bitch at each other?

RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...

CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]

[Scene: Monica's party. She is seeing off the last of the guests.]

MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.

MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.

MONICA: Ok will do. So glad you came.

MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.

MONICA: Ok, let me go check. Your mom want's to say goodbye.

RACHEL: Oh ok.

MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.

RACHEL: Ok.

[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]

JOEY: Ahh, you drive safe.

MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.

ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?

CHANDLER: Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going?

MR. GREENE: To get my coat.

GUYS: No no no.

MR. GREENE:Alright, alright, I can get my own coat.

[the guys form a wall between Mrs Geller and Mr Geller and dance across the hall as he walks across]

CHANDLER: Sorry, we're on a major flan high.

PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.

MR. GREENE: I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you.

PHOEBE: Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway.

JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.

MRS. GREENE: Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.

MONICA: Thank you.

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.]

MONICA: Ok everybody, it's time for flan.

CHANDLER: Yup, get ready for the gelatenous fun.

JOEY: Kinda looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection.

MONICA: Ok, that's enough.

PHOEBE: Ok Rachel, make a special flan wish.

RACHEL: Ok, I've got one. [blows out the candles. Somebody calls out 'heads up' and the volleyball lands in the flan] Wow, those things almost never come true.
END

多云有时晴

223 The One With the Chicken Pox

[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]

[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]

RACHEL: Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one bananna nut muffin left.

[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]

MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.

CHANDLER: Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster...

MONICA: Give it to me.

CHANDLER: No.

MONICA: Give it to me.

CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]

MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.

CHANDLER: That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.]

PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.

MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.

PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.

[Chandler is visibly upset]

RACHEL: You went out with a guy in the Navy?

PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.

JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?

PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.

RACHEL: So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?

[Once again, Chandler has a bite in his mouth and can't come back.]

MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.

ROSS: [enters] Hiii.

JOEY: Oh no, what happened?

ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.

ALL: Oh no.

ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.

RACHEL: Well I've had it.

JOEY: Yeah, I've had it.

MONICA: Had it.

CHANDLER: Had it.

PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]

MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.

RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.

[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]

RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?

MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.

RICHARD: What're you doing?

MONICA: Just waiting for you sweetie.

RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?

MONICA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.

RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...

MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.

RICHARD: You're pretty much running that risk either way.

MONICA: Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.

RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.

MONICA: I'm just easing you in.

RICHARD: Oh, alright.

MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.

RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.

MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.

[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey is there.]

CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.

JOEY: But don't you need experience for a job like that?

CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.

SCOTT: [enters] Hey Chandler, here's this morning's projections.

CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.

SCOTT: No kidding.

JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.

SCOTT: Where do you work?

JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.

CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.

SCOTT: Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha...

JOEY: Ha-ha. [Scott leaves] Are all you processors dorks?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are doing Phoebe's makeup.]

RACHEL: Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.

MONICA: You look fabulous honey, you really do.

PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]

RACHEL: You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.

PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.

MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]

PHOEBE: Come in.

RYAN: Hey baby, I'm back... [Phoebe is sitting by the window in a veil.]

PHOEBE: Hey Ryan, what's up?

RYAN: What's goin' on?

PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.

RYAN: Chicken or small?

PHOEBE: Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.

RYAN: Why aren't you at home in bed?

PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.

RYAN: I'm sorry, I never had 'em.

PHOEBE: Ohh, ohh.

RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.

PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.

RYAN: Can I please see your face?

PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.

RYAN: Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.

PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.

RYAN: Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate incidence. You look lovely, lovely.

PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.

RYAN{s:1:tongue}hoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]

PHOEBE: Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.

[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey enters.]

JOEY: Hey.

CHANDLER: Hey, how's the first day goin'?

JOEY: Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.

CHANDLER: Well there you go.

JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.

CHANDLER: Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie?

JOEY: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?

CHANDLER: Weird world. Your kids?

JOEY: I figure my character has kids.

CHANDLER: Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.

JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.

CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.

JOEY: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.

CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]

RYAN: You know what makes the itching even worse?

PHOEBE: That you don't stop talking about it.

RYAN: Fine.

PHOEBE: Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. [She picks up the dice.] Here we go, double sixes, here we go... [She starts to rub the dice all over herself.] Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...

RYAN: What're you doing? Are you scratching?

PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.

RYAN: You're scratching. Give me the dice.

PHOEBE: No.

RYAN: Give me the dice.

PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.

RYAN: We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar.

PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]

RYAN: No.

PHOEBE: Give it.

RYAN: No.

PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]

RYAN: Oh God help me.

PHOEBE: Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.

[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]

RACHEL: Oh, stop that, stop that right now.

ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.

[Scene: Chandler's office building. Joey and Jeannie are talking.]

JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.

JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.

JOEY: Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie.

JEANNIE: Bye bye Joey.

JOEY: What a phony.

CHANDLER: Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. Hey Mr. Douglas.

JOEY: Sir.

MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?

CHANDLER: Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.

MR. DOUGLAS: I have a family, I'm gonna be here.

JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?

CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.

MR. DOUGLAS: Rough numbers?

JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.

MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.

CHANDLER: Uh, if you say so sir.

JOEY: Joseph's good, isn't he?

CHANDLER: Well, I'm going to kill you.

JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.

CHANDLER: Why?

JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]

RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?

MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.

RICHARD: You're strict.

MONICA: It's for their own good.

RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.

MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?

RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.

MONICA: Very good.

RICHARD: Thank you.

MONICA: You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks.

RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.

MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.

RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.

MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?

RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.

MONICA: No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now.

RICHARD: No come on. Come on tell me.

MONICA: No. See you don't understand.

RICHARD: Come on.

MONICA: No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.

RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.

MONICA: Oh yeah.

RICHARD: Yeah.

MONICA: Alright, well tell me one of yours.

RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.

MONICA: What if they get mixed up?

RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.

MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.

RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.

[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]

JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.

CHANDLER: Why? Wh- wh- why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?

JOEY: 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.

CHANDLER: Wha- wh- why, why, why does he suspect that?

JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.

CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.

JOEY: What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph.

CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.

JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.

CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.

JOEY: Karen.

CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.

JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.

CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.

JOEY: Really?

CHANDLER: No freakshow, she's fictional.

JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.

CHANDLER: Thank you.

JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]

PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.

RACHEL: No sorry hon, Monica's orders.

RYAN: [Comes out of the bathroom, also with oven mits on his hands.] Well that wasn't easy.

ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.

RACHEL: And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.

ROSS: Alright you kids, bye now.

PHOEBE and RYAN: Bye. [waving]

ROSS: Oh look, a low budget puppet show.

PHOEBE: It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up.

[Ross and Rachel leave.]

RYAN: Wine?

PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]

RYAN: Oh, I spilled some.

PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]

RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.

PHOEBE: What?

RYAN: Sorry. You look beautiful.

PHOEBE: Oh.

[They start to kiss. They try to get each other's shirts off but can't get the buttons undone.]

PHOEBE: You know what, that's it, that's it. [She rips off the mits, Ryan follows her lead.]

[They keep kissing and start scratching each other. Ross enters, takes one look, and goes right back out the door.]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]

RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.

MONICA: What's up?

RICHARD: I thought of a thing.

MONICA: Yeah?

RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.

MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.

RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.

MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.

RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.

MONICA: Alright, go on.

RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.

MONICA: Oh my God, you're a freak.

RICHARD: Yeah. How 'bout that.

[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]

RACHEL: So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to?

RYAN: I really can't say.

ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?

RYAN: I can't say.

RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.

RYAN: I'm sorry, but I can't say.

ROSS: Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines.

RYAN: I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight.

PHOEBE: Ok, I'll walk you out.

ROSS: Bye Ryan.

RYAN{s:1:tongue}leasure.

RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.

RYAN: Take care.

[Phoebe and Ryan walk outside.]

RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?

ROSS: You like that do ya?

RACHEL: Oh yeah.

ROSS: I'll make some calls. [Runs off.]

RACHEL: Ok.

[Outside with Phoebe and Ryan.]

RYAN: Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together?

PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]

RYAN: Taxi.

PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]

RACHEL: Oh I'm sorry, we're clo-... Hey sailor.

ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?

RACHEL: I'll say.

[Ross picks her up.]

ROSS: I'm shipping out tomorrow.

RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.

ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]
END

多云有时晴

224 The One With Barry and Mindy's Wedding

[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]

RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?

JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.

ALL: Who?

JOEY: All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty.

ALL: Wow!

JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.

CHANDLER: 'Cause he was just so darn cute.

JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.

ROSS: Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. (Rachel looks at him in disbelief) Or you just do it.

JOEY: I did do it, I'm a professional.

MONICA: Then what's the problem?

JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.

PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.

OPENING CREDITS

[Scene: continued from earlier]

CHANDLER: Hey, what did your agent say?

JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.

MONICA: What, forget it!

RACHEL: Yeah, right.

JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.

PHOEBE: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again.

JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.

PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.

JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?

MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.

JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)

ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)

CHANDLER: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]

ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.

(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)

PHOEBE: (laughing) Oh my God, you look so good!

RACHEL: I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.

RACHEL: Because I promised Mindy I would.

MONICA: Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. (Rachel glares at her, and she retreats to safety between Richard's legs)

RACHEL: Look you guys, I have to go, I'm the Maid-of-Honor. And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.

(Chandler enters, sees Rachel in the dress and starts laughing)

PHOEBE: Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?

CHANDLER: I may have.

MONICA: Woo-hoo, stuud!

ROSS: What's she look like?

CHANDLER: Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.

MONICA: Woo-hoo, geeek!

CHANDLER: I like this girl, okay, I seriously like this girl, you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...

ROSS: Get out!

RACHEL: Nooo!

MONICA: Please!

CHANDLER: Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did.

RACHEL: Wow! What's that like?

CHANDLER: It's like this, me, no jokes.

PHOEBE: All right, stop it, you're freaking me out.

RICHARD: Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.

ALL: Bye, Richard.

MONICA: Bye sweetie, (kisses him) I love you.

RICHARD: I love you, too.

(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)

PHOEBE: I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.

MONICA: What are you talking about? What wedding?

PHOEBE: Come on, like you never talk that.

MONICA: Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'

RACHEL: Afraid to ask him?

MONICA: Could not be more terrified.

CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]

MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.

RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.

MONICA: Hey, you know I got a question for ya. Just a little thing, no pressure.

RICHARD: Okay.

MONICA: Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future?

RICHARD: Sure I do.

MONICA: Yeah, am I in it?

RICHARD: Honey, you are in it.

MONICA: Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky.

RICHARD: Oh, yeah!

MONICA: Keep talkin'.

RICHARD: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.

MONICA: Okay, so, uh, we're in France, we're making the toast. Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?

RICHARD: Like a hound?

MONICA: Not a basset, a bassinet.

RICHARD: You really need the bassinet?

MONICA: Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you , do you not see kids in our future.

RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.

MONICA: Uh-huh.

RICHARD: Look I want you, now.

MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]

JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.

CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!

[Rachel, in her bridesmaid dress, complete with hat, which makes her look like Little Bo Peep, and Ross enter]

RACHEL: Hey!

CHANDLER: I'm sorry we, we don't have your sheep.

JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).

ROSS: Get away from me I said no!

MONICA: (entering) Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs.

JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)

ALL: Bye.

PHOEBE: Bye, good luck.

(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)

PHOEBE: So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that (points at the computer screen).

CHANDLER: Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim (sp?, I'm not an art guy) museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words.

PHOEBE: What does she mean by HH?

CHANDLER: (shyly) It means we're holding hands.

PHOEBE: Are you the cutest?

CHANDLER: I'm afraid I might just be.

PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.

CHANDLER: Okay, it's not a guy, all right, I know her.

PHOEBE: It could be like a big giant guy.

JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?

PHOEBE: We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.

JOEY: Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.

CHANDLER: How do you not fall down more?

PHOEBE: Okay, ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?'

CHANDLER: All right. (reading her answer) "My husband is sleeping with his secretary." She's married!

PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.

CHANDLER: I can't believe she's married.

JOEY: Aw, man I'm sorry (starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder). This must be very tough for ya, huh (and starts comfroting him looking for a kiss).

[Scene: Barry and Mindy's wedding, Monica and Richard are standing in the lobby]

MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.

RICHARD: Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.(they both start laughing at Richard's poor joke) See, we're having fun.

MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.

RICHARD: Neither am I.

[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]

ROSS: Hey, there.

RACHEL: Hi.

ROSS: Are you all right?

RACHEL: Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.

ROSS: Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.

RACHEL: God I know, you're right.

(Annoying wedding planner enters)

WEDDING PLANNER: All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines, thank you.

RACHEL: Okay, I'll see you after the thing.

ROSS: Okay, good luck (kisses her and leaves)

RACHEL: Thank you, Okay, Okay.

[Starts to walk down the aisle, unfortunately she doesn't realize that her dress is bunched up in her underwear and her butt is showing.]

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: after the wedding, Ross and Rachel are in the lobby]

RACHEL: Why the hell didn't you tell me!

ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'

RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.

ROSS: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.

RACHEL: Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.

MR. WINEBURG: Rachel!

RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.

MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.

MRS. WINEBURG: You told me you didn't see anything.

MR. WINEBURG: I tell ya a lot things!

MRS. WINEBURG: Well it's wonderful to have you up and about, again, dear.

MR. WINEBURG: Stay well.

RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.

MINDY: (entering) Rach! Rach!

RACHEL: Oh, hi!

MINDY: Oh my God, I'm married!

RACHEL: I know.

MINDY: I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber.





RACHEL: Oh honey, I'm so proud of you, Min.

BARRY: (entering) Min. Oh Rach, you're still here, at our wedding, they were packing up the chopped liver about now.

RACHEL: Yeah, I love that story. Um, I got a question for you guys. Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about?

MINDY: Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane.

RACHEL: Insane!

MINDY: ...from the syphilis.

RACHEL: What?!

BARRY: Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]

JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into
his room)

(the computer bing, bongs)

PHOEBE: Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong?

CHANDLER: What's wrong? What's wrong? You're married that's what's wrong.

(bing, bong)

PHOEBE: Oh, my.

CHANDLER: What?

PHOEBE: She wants to meet you in person.

CHANDLER: Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband.

PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.

CHANDLER: Okay, I'll do it!

PHOEBE: Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! (Chandler runs and picks up his shoes) Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. (Chandler runs to the bathroom, as the computer bing-bongs) No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. (Chandler runs to the computer) No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. (Chandler walks slowly into the kitchen)

[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]

MONICA: Okay, one more, please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time, I will.

RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.

MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.

BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...

ALL: What?!

BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...

RACHEL: What.

BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)

ROSS: (standing up) Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that...

RACHEL: Why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding?

ROSS: Most of you don't know me, I'm Rachel's boyfriend.

RACHEL: Oh dear God.

ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.

RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.

ROSS: (runs after her) No, Rach!

BARRY: And once again she is out of here. Okay who had 9:45? Um?

RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I
really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."

ROSS: Marenge,

RACHEL: (singing) "...marenge, thank you honey, and do the cha-cha. And while she like to be a star, Tony always tended bar. At the, wait, wait, everybody.."

ROSS: Everybody!

RACHEL: At the Copa, Copa Cabana (everyone joins in) The hottest spot north of Havana. At the Copa, Coo-pa Ca-ban-a, music and fashion were always the passion, at the Copa....

[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]

RICHARD: Okay, I'll do it.

MONICA: You'll do what?

RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.

MONICA: Oh my God!

RICHARD: If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team. MONICA: Really?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.

MONICA: You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.'

RICHARD: But you're not.

MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.

RICHARD: God. I love you.

MONICA: I know you do. Me too. (pause) So what now?

RICHARD: I guess we just keep dancing.

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]

CHANDLER: Where is she, Where is she? (grabs Rachel) Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she?

RACHEL: Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here.

CHANDLER: (noticing a beautiful blond walking in) Ooh, oh, oh, that's her.

ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.

PHOEBE: Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to...

(Chandler's date walks in)

CHANDLER: Oh my God! (it's Janice)

JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)

ALL: OH.....MY.....GOD!!

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]

ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).

JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
END

宣儿

现在这几个人咋样了啊？
貌似richel后来拍过电影，其他都没有见过哦

jackylee

我最近正要看呢，帮大忙了。

多云有时晴

我最近正要看呢，帮大忙了。
jackylee 发表于 2009-9-7 13:55

不客气[.34AA3BBFBB]

itwindow

顶一下......

多云有时晴

顶一下......
itwindow 发表于 2009-9-7 19:53

谢谢

jeffreyqinling

这个。。。是不是还是看视频好些？