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本帖最后由 harunagoya 于 2010-1-23 10:20 编辑
看育儿书、听专家的经验、自己总结的经验,写出来给大家参考一下,希望能有帮助。
我也经常在学习,不断在努力~
其他内容添加在第2楼、8楼、29楼。
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母亲的育儿态度对孩子性格的影响(笔者翻译)
lingdang分享:自尊女孩手册
管教的意义
撒泼-----看到一个育儿的书上说,孩子撒泼的话,先确保其安全,然后立刻离开现场。
或者把孩子拉到床上、其他安全的地方让他/她去哭,冷静一会儿就会好的。
撒泼没了对象也就不能成立了。
试了一下挺管用。
坏习惯-----对付孩子的坏习惯,先要警告,然后再次警告,不凑效的话才打。
打的次数慢慢递增,他/她就会知道父母是动真格的。
身体力行地教孩子正确的方法,所谓言传身教真得很重要。
责打-----该打的时候要打,最好打手,让孩子能看到,也不会伤到神经。
打屁股没看到啊,效果就差一点。
不要带着怒气打孩子,大人先冷静下来。不然自己也很生气,事后还容易后悔。
鼓励-----能用鼓励的方法就不要打,增强孩子的积极性。
孩子都喜欢听大人的鼓励。而且慢慢会建立自信心。
给与选择-----选择孩子闹脾气或跟大人闹对立时,给他/她选择,当然选项都是为他/她好的。
并且让他/她从小知道自己选择的就不能抱怨,要承担责任。
讲道理-----再小的孩子,你跟他/她讲道理他/她也能看懂你的表情是希望他/她理解接受。
一般八九个月的孩子都已经能听明白很多了。
一味地强调不怎样,别怎样的话,孩子听多了只记住后面的动词,好奇心驱使还会去重复。
讲道理时,可以说孩子能明白的词,比如说碰插头,手会痛,并装痛苦状。
有必要的话,拿个东西刺一下孩子的手,让他/她大概知道怎么个痛法,体で覚える。
让他/她知道危险性,慢慢地就能记住了。
摘录:教养孩童的12个要点
1. Love(爱)
Love is many a thing, from a feeling that might be selfish, to aservice done in secret. Love can be the crest of an emotion, or it canbe the toil of assistance.
2. Security (安全)
Not just physical security—sometimes parents cannot control thecircumstances—but security of soul. It is not only that parents providefood, shelter, and clothes, but that children feel their commitment todo so.
3. Acceptance (承诺)
This does not mean that children are to receive unconditionalapproval, but that whether parents are approving or disapproving,children never feel that they have been dismissed.
4. Respect (尊重)
Children are future adults—little people. They have the samesouls, the same feelings, pride, shame, desire to be accepted, to beapproved. Children have opinions, ideas, and views that they like toshare. They may talk you to death, but often what is tiresome to anadult is significant to a child.
5. Communication (沟通)
Communication is the vehicle of society. Interpersonalrelationships are built on communication. It is essential forintellectual development. Several studies have shown that infantsisolated in their cribs, away from human contact, score much lower onIQ tests taken later in life.
6. Time (时间)
Not just “quality time” but quantity time. Know this, that whenyou are not spending time with your children, someone else is. When youreceived your child into this world, it was like receiving a beautifulbook with all blank pages. Like a daily planner, each fifteen-minuteinterval has an empty line beside it. Your child’s history is not yetwritten.
7. Boundaries (界线)
Children must learn quickly that they are not the center of theuniverse. Others have needs and rights as well. Self-restraint isessential to society.
8. Structure (培养)
Doing the same thing each day at the same time is structure. Anyindividual, not just children, left to do as he pleases from one momentto the next will likely do nothing unless it is immediately gratifying.
9. Belonging / Significance (归属/重要性)
Children must feel they are a vital part of somethingsignificant. One feels himself to be a part of that to which he lendssignificant contribution. A child that is served, but not called uponto contribute, will have low self-esteem. Everyone needs to be needed.
10. Example (榜样)
Be what you want your children to be. “More is caught than taught.”
11. Crisis management (危机处理)
Life often moves from one crisis to another, especially for children and teens.
12. The meaning of life (生命的意义)
A human without purpose is a parasite. In the heart of everyoneis the faint knowledge that “I have been placed on this earth for apurpose higher than pleasure. I have a destiny to fulfill.” AsChristians, we know our destiny is to “be conformed to the image of hisson (Rom, 8: 29).” We must teach our children to live in light ofeternity。 |
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